(11:11:03 PM) Evan: i just had one of those deja future vu moments like in v for vendetta
(11:11:17 PM) Evan: where for a split second, you could see everything that has been and has yet to be
(11:11:22 PM) Evan: but it's just a feeling
(11:11:27 PM) Evan: but i can guess
(11:11:43 PM) Me: are you on something? XD
(11:11:57 PM) Evan: idk.... i think music is crack
(11:13:26 PM) Evan: i'm pretty sure that one of my early creative ideas about deja vu was accurate
(11:13:47 PM) Evan: the human mind over it's entire life only uses 1% of what it is capable of using at any moment
(11:14:15 PM) Evan: i think about people and computers very similarly, because they are
(11:15:46 PM) Evan: what if for that one 'cycle' (processor term), the brain suddenly used all of it's power, computed all the probabilities based on knowledge and observations you may not even be aware of, and planned the future. for that split second you know everything that was and will be, but it's too much to handle for a long term, so the memory gets cleared only leaving a few residual incomplete memories
I think it's time for a new blog. School has started out pretty good.. I guess. However the one thing I DREAD for some reason... PRESENTATIONS. Of course there aren't any scheduled yet but a few of my teachers mentioned them. Ugh. Those things kill me for some reason. Right when you get up there and start talking you'd think that you'd get comfortable. Well.. it's the opposite for me. I freeze up and start shaking. Even if it's the simplist task. If words start coming out of my mouth while eyes are looking right at me I feel like dying. I'm not even the slightest bit shy with my friends. In fact I'm even sometimes the dominant member of the group.. but when it's in front of a class.. shoot me D:
Also, I'm just starting to realize some things about Rhonny.
Last year, he was the best. I never would've expected he was gay OR bi. In fact everytime someone suspected it, I defended him.. saying that he was just nice because he was foreign! He was quiet, sweet, intelligent, and he was himself (or so I thought).
This year, he's become in all accessorized and shit like a freaking scene kid. His hair is down almost in his field of vision, rather than slightly gelled up in the front. He has these new glasses with carved flames on the sides (which are cute none-the-less but it all adds up). He's wearing BRIGHTLY colored shirts and tight jeans. And he likes the look of his belt hanging out for some reason. Last year he'd wear lose jeans, and just plain T shirts. Also tennis shoes (not preppy converse).
He's also a LOT more talkative (which isn't a bad thing.. just not really the Rhonny I thought I knew). He likes to talk about all his guy-friends a lot. :/ Like whats going on with them and how he's DYING to make out with a guy. UGH.
Todau he did said jokingly "It seems like everyone excepts me but you." D: I esxcept him completely and all.. I'm just not used to it... I'm always a little uncomfortable when guys like eachother... like that. And all of a sudden it's my best friend x_x
I assured him that I was happy that he's open with me now... which I am
He's actually calling pretty much every night now and inviting me places and hanging out with me all the time and stuff... I assume it's because he's got this off his back...
The reason I'm writing this now is because today he said that he was always quiet because he was keeping that secret. ): Now he talks like... me D:
I need to post a new blog... I got 3 hours of sleep last night because I couldn't sleep >_>
spent 40$ of my money on video games ;-;
I had so much fun with Evan and I've been extremely happy lately. Also I seem to weigh less than I did before I left for the trip >_> however I think this may be because I haven't eaten too much today =/
I think that one of my favorite things I did was play Elebits and have a water gun fight. A FEW of my favorite things. The whole trip was fun ^_^
I also only cried like a few tears while getting on the plane to go home as opposed to intense crying like he's going to war or something )=
I guess it's because I know it won't be so bad and I do have to go home eventually.
Also... this isn't going to be a very long blog entry. Gotta go eat stir fry (nom nom) :> and TRY to watch a shitty bootleg of Get Smart =/
The End
:3
I've been having really crazy dreams lately and I'm bored waiting for Evan to wake up so I'm going to explain the one I had last night the best that I can...
Also I think Evan is getting bothered by it...
I dreamt that I was in a thrift store, looking for a dress. I brought a dress that I made with me that smelt like peach tea. While I was there, I must've accidentally hung up the dress that I brought, so I had to convince the employee's that it was mine and I wasn't trying to steal it. I convinced them because it smelt like peach tea, and remember trying to figure out what I was going to do for this poster I had to make for this song I also had to make. All I really had on the song were a few sounds, and most people had the entire song already done so I was freaking out. I remember drawing anime characters and thinking that my art teachers would get mad at me for doing that, so I tried to make them more realistic.
Then I got my friend (who's not really my friend anymore in real life), Cassandra, to come home with me. I asked her to help me carry a ton of books and it was really hard for her and I remember feeling really bad. We waited forever for my Dad to come pick us up and I think my Mom eventually did.
We went to the Publix and I got milk, peach tea, and raspberry syrup.
I went home and me and Cassandra made a really good drink with these 3 ingredients.
I'm having a hard time putting together what else happened but I remember trying to get these evil things that were attacking my house to drink the concoction... but then having to throw spear's at them instead because they refused to cooperate....? =/
Then I woke up because I thought Evan was up but he wasn't. ;(
So I had the weirdest dream last night and I haven't really been updating my blog lately so I figured it'd be interesting enough =P
I don't remember every detail but I'll do my best.
Me and my family were going to the movies or something... but the movie that my Dad chose to see was in black and white and there were lot's of intermissions in which we had to go down the street and kill these dogs or something? And then when we came back, while waiting in line for the rest of the movie, you got to eat a few things. Some things were free and some things weren't.
First of all lemme explain the movie arrangment a little better..
It looked kind of like an airplane. The windows were the screens and there were allowed 3 people per window. I always got the window seat and Cindy was sitting next to me and always struggling to see because her hair was in the way or something.
And despite the movie being old and black and white, I remember being very interested in whatever was happening.
Anyway, back to the food. I supposedly was only allowed to get peanut butter crackers but instead I got chocolate, and got in trouble when I went to sit down. But instead of saying "You stole that.", the women said something like "Let's just say that I didn't see." and walked away.
Then, in order to let Cindy see better, I got up and went to the bathroom... however was distracted by the outdoors. Something was going on out there. It turned out that all those dogs that were being killed were the first step to some evil project in order to take over the world. And the long-very interesting movie was on for everyone in the entire world to distract them from knowing.
Well, once I figured this all out, I said "I WON'T HAVE IT!" and ran out of the airplane/theater.
I do not remember anything past this point D=
My Mom called and woke me up.
And I had an extremely crazy dream yesterday night too... it had something to do with me trying to steal this movie.. and then getting caught and taken to this huge shower and Evan was in there too. Everyone in there was lying down watching a big screen and I was bored but everyone else was so into it. I got up and took a shower, and then sat down like 5 feet away from Evan, and reached out my hand. He started to take it but then said that people might be watching. So I got sad and went into the corner of the shower and looked at these two glass dogs that I stole from the store that were in my pocket. He shortly came to where I was and attempted to apologize but I just wouldn't have it.
I ended up looking up at the movie screen and getting really into the movie.
I don't remember anything past that really. But I wasn't woken up by anything so that might've been the end of the dream?
Weird.
Just until I can upload it as a new invention project....
I'm going to post this here.
So the other night, I was creeping through the kitchen trying to be quiet when all of a sudden, I kicked the dog bowl across the floor along with knocking it over; spilling water everywhere.
I thought it would be a good idea to have something that would attach to the wall in which you may pop common sized dog bowls (or the ones that come with it) in and out of (to refill and stuff.)
That way, the dog wouldn't push it all over the floor when eating/drinking out of it, and it wouldn't be constantly knocked all over the floor. It would stay in place. Maybe it could even be portable or something... XD
I did a bit of research to investigate whether this had already been invented and hopefully only found this:
http://www.patentstorm.us/patents/6516747/description.html
I did a quick sketch (in paint because I just got my hard drive wiped and don't have time to download inkscape).
It's pretty self-explanatory.
Comments if you've heard of it before,
or if you need further explanation.
The gray things are screws, by the way. XD
And it would obviously be a lot more appealing, but I assume you get the idea.
Today, it rained alll day pretty much. I love when it rains. And then me and Rhonny wanted to pretend like it wasn't pouring down rain while we walked to the train. Everyone around us was running and covering their heads with books and we we like "What a beautiful, sunny day." XD Of course wearing glasses, they had little droplets all over them so we ended up taking them off. He looked so different >_>
Also extremely different all wet. XD. I made his hair spiky.
I was tempted to make Kai's hair spiky too but I didn't feel like I had permission like I do with Rhonny. Well.. I don't have "permission" but I feel more comfortable doing it I guess.
It also didn't look as fun when Kayla did it instead =/
Also, Katherine said that for her summer assignment (art) she's going to make a "rain machine" because she loves the sound of rain. She didn't go too much into it but she said it'll incorporate the sounds of rain somehow. I'm also thinking I want to involve sounds of some sort as well. =D
Rather than the boring traditional painted "still life with fruit".
I might incorporate some knitting and felting as well.
I'm also thinking of going BIGGER.
I'll pretty much be allowed to since I'm going to be a Junior o_o.
So the fishing trip today was pretty fun. But I didn't catch anything )=
About 6 people caught things and they were BIG fish. Some were unable to be eaten though so we threw them back.
Then one person caught something and as they were reeling it in, a huge barracuda jumps up and eats half of it of the hook. We wanted to see if we could catch the Barracuda but it swam too fast. it kept coming back but eventually just swam away and we were left with half a fish.
There also was a huge sea turtle that floated up and sat on top of the water for like 3 minutes and then dove back down. But I couldn't get my camera out quick enough )=
THEN Mrs. Meehan pointed out a shark that was swimming deep down. We could only really see the shadow of it though.
I put sunblock all over but still managed to get sun on my face )=
Not that much though.
We stayed from about 9am to 1:30pm and then got back at school by like 2:10. Then me and Rhonny went to the computer lab and he loved my project ^_^
We watched trailers and took stupid pictures on the photobooth for an hour XD
Also I'm sick of the broken screen on my phone!!! DX
K so I just deleted the longest thing ever because I want the reduce it...
Basically..
Rhonny backed out of the party and I didn't go. It was supposedly extremely lame anyway.
I applied to like 8 jobs. BJ's, World Market, Panda Express, Off Broadway Shoes, Old Navy, another shoe store, A different clothes store? (we were in a plaza walking from store to store and couldn't see the sign) lol Best Buy, A.C. More (Arts and Crafts store), and I believe that's close to it. I'd like to work at Old Navy or A.C. More.
Also, My family's are at war.
I slammed my phone on the kitchen floor while collapsing along with it because of shit...
Shit that wasn't even that big of a deal...
It was just the trigger I guess.
It broke the screen and now it's a little bit difficult to decipher what's on it. But my Dad was goign to replace it anyway because the volume button was pretty much fried.
I made a duct tape wallet and iPod case and ripped skin (on accident) off my lower lip.
It hurt and neosporin tastes bad. >_<
btw why is laundry such a big deal?
I was thinking that I never want to grow up cuz I'm afraid of getting old. But I'm a little bit excited about being 18 at least.
I guess the grass is always greener. < gay -.-;
SONG MIXING TIME.
What's bothering me a bit right now is that these annoying people have been just randomly showing up and sitting with me, Rhonny, Vivian, and Alex during lunch. They used to be like 20 feet away but they recently somehow just scooted over to us and began bothering us. We and him usually lie down together and chat but recently hes been sitting up (NOT SHARING HIS FOOD WITH ME) and pretend laughing with her. Cuz he's too nice not to be nice. You know? Also, this other girl that really likes Rhonny has been just suddenly hanging around too. I won't go into it but I hate how they feel like they're just entitled to jump into me and his conversations.. I guess you're supposed to in a group but they just like claimed our group.. and it'd be one thing if they weren't so annoying. It's so much less personal when there's so many people. 3 is good... maybe a few more. But they all cant be obnoxiously talking at all times either. And Alex doesn't even really talk.
Anyway I'm done with venting about that.
My stop motion play thing is slowly coming together. I'm excited about playing around with the piano and making a song... I tried a synthesizer but the piano sounded pretty crappy and I want the actual piano noise. Also I did only USED to play the piano but it doesn't seem too hard to just make a tune or something. Most of the Ghosts I-IV songs with piano don't seem too complicated and I love the way they sound. I was thinking of using number 9 but the teacher said it'll be better if I did my own... even if you are allowed to use theirs with no legal problems or whatever.
So I'll probably just do something similar. And who knows... maybe it'll become a new thing for me XD MAYBE I'LL BE COME AN INDUSTRIAL MUSICIAN =D
Ok, dreaming now. But my Dad was so excited when I asked him if he could record me playing the piano somehow. he was like "I COULD PLAY DRUMS AND GUITAR AND WE COULD BE ROCKSTARS YEAAH!" like a little kid XD
Maybe it was his dream from his childhood or something )=
Anyway I also finished another rat of felt today. THEY'RE SO CUUUTE! ^-^
And I'm also going to take a picture of them and upload it when I go to my Dad's tomorrow. UGH SO MUCH TO DO! XD
Anyway I also have that girls party to go to on Saturday as well as the senior show (which I really wanted to stay at longer )=)
I wish her party was NEXT weekend or something. I love how people plan everything at once DX
(BTW why do people say they love something that they hate?) XD it's sarcasm but I don't even notice it sometime.
Ok this has gone on far enough.
COMMENT? ^_^
http://www.invasioncreations.com/Flash/Noodles.htm
P.S. He's a hippopotamus and he's got noodle's on his back.
So this weekend wasn't as great as I thought it would be. Me and Vivian went on a picnic and she ended up having a mental break down along with my Mom showing up and a horrible migraine and severe nausea. I ended up falling asleep sitting on the ground with my head in my arms on the toilet seat in case I threw up. Then I didn't really get to talk to Evan Friday night nor Saturday and he got mad at me because I said something about people robbing his house...
I've noticed that Evan may have selective hearing at times.
And I think I'm PMSing because every little thing is getting on my nerves.
I was pretty much blah all day today.. I didn't feel like talking to anyone or making jokes with Rhonny or anything... I fell asleep in 3rd hour, and 5th hour.
And then I soon was informed that I didn't get the music put back onto my iPod (along with the song Kenji which I was going to show the class on Wednesday), My Dad forgot to give my felting stuff ,in which I was looking forward to doing all day, to my sister to give to me, and my Dad didn't even give my Mom a proper Mothers Day present that I told him to get from me. A bag of Miracle Grow a.k.a. DIRT. And he just gives her the remainder of what he had in his garage from a while back.
The only thing that I really am looking forward to is this digital project for my Art class... but I can't do it because this computer doesn't have sound or anything that works.
And every time I move to do something my Mom goes "STOP DOING THAT AND STUDY MATH"
Fuck math =C
And I've somewhat subsided on looking forward to talking to Evan online when I get home (recently) because he has been preoccupied with college and stuff (which I understand).
But I am reallylooking forward to seeing him... which is something that I know will be great and not pointless...
But he says he doesn't know how to express the excitement and gets mad at me when I talk about it.
However he is excited about his new laptop coming.
It is a pretty awesome gift.
Hope he'll like mine as well.
__________________________________
*EDIT*
So I just got from my Dad my felting stuff (all the colors of the rainbow) and the needles too.
I also got the Northern Illinois University T shit that Evan sent me. So it pretty much made my day ^-^
I'm happy now.
Thank you, Evan <3
UGH NOOOOOOOOO I JUST WROTE A WHOLE BLOG AND THEN CLICKED ON A LINK AND IT ERASED IT!!! ;-;
I HATE THAT!
I guess I have to dreadfully explain it ALLLLLLLLLL over again. UGH GOD.
Ok so.. the party that I went to.. had food.. and dancing... I danced but it was awkward.. this one guy like dance raped this girl... and this guy was doing it very close to me. >_> was very weird.
Uhh what else.. well I remember discussing it with Evan but I don't remember getting much feedback.
I got Briana oil pastels, a pack of M&M's and the new Madonna CD.
Uh it's really freaking hot in this room.
And I really want to needle felt but all the craft stores I go to don't carry such a thing. In fact they have no clue what I'm talking about. BUT I KNOW IT EXISTS. And it's like the coolest thing ever.
All I need is wool, the needle tool, and a block of foam for the punching. And all I do is punch the needle over and over into the felt that's on top of the foam and it makes this:
It's... beautiful.
They also sell for like 100$ or more each X_X..
So it's really weird but remember those dots that I mentioned on my last blog? Well, turns out those dots (after given to Rhonny) were then offered back to me, and then given to Aurea who then gave them to her friend Jessica, that went to Sunfest and saw Good Charlotte and gave the dots to them and one of them was like "I love dots!" and another was like "I don't eat sugar" XD
Also.. I had a pretty ok day because my presentation on Bipolar Disorder went really well. I was extremely nervous at first but after about the 3rd slide, I started to lighten up a bit and was able to give more information than what was just on the screen. I also started looking more at the class rather than just reading the screen. Then, when the slide with the picture of my Grandmother came up (which is what I was the most nervous for), I started talking about how she had Bipolar Disorder. I just said that she had Bipolar Disorder (the most severe case, Bipolar 2) and that I just thought it was a stupid made up disease because everyone has mood swings. But then when I went and lived in the same house as her for a while, I witnessed her unpredictable moods and such. They were like "what happened" "how did she die?" blah blah so I ended up explaining like my whole life to them and they stared in awe. I kind of fueled from the interest and I explained it no problem. I really think I overcame my fear a little bit.
However.. I knew that by the end of the day I would end up letting one of my friends down. I promised Brianna that I'd go to her party a while ago without realizing that I made plans with Vivian (like 4 weekends in a row and didn't every time). But I ended up staying home and not going... even after I took all my clothes with me.
Then she texted Rhonny and said she wished he could have danced with her. And when I asked if he would with me, he said yes ;-;
I hate dancing though. But I wish he was FREAKING going. I'm going to look so nice =D with my Mom's dress and red sweater from when she was young, 2$ shoes I bought, and 2$ purse.
JESUS CHRIST. There is supposedly this myth that says you can get a spider bite (or cockroach) under your skin in which it then explodes with babies.. and as Mr. Merkle was explaining it I remembered this bump on my inner lip. It really freaked me out. I really wanna like cut it open now DX
Also I got really freaked out about this supposed 1 foot long camel spider that runs 25 mph and eats flesh by ejecting anesthesia and laying eggs in camels stomachs and stuff. Then Evan crushed those thoughts with things such as "FACTS" and "LOGIC"
;-;
I just wanted to be smart for once DX
I guess they're not as dangerous as I thought. BUT THEY'RE STILL SCARY LOOKING AS SHIT.
Lately I feel like I've been getting less communication for some reason. It's a bit lonely. I went to the communications film fest thing but all it did was waste my time that I could've spent doing art. Vivian hung up on me and yet I've decided to go to her house over that girls party.
Oh yeah, about "that girl"..
Her name is Brianna... and today she was pissed off at everyone for some reason during 3rd hour. She wouldn't answer us (unless I made her laugh which OBVIOUSLY meant she was faking it) so I just assumed it was because Rhonny isn't going to her party cuz of his brother's first communion, Aurea can't because she has to go to epcot, and now I don't really feel the desire to go because... well I don't really know anyone, I don't have a dress, and quite frankly I don't really want to. Anyway she finally told us all that she was upset cuz we kept making fun of her or something. I didn't think it was like that but she insisted so I apologized. She didn't seem effected however. Then whenever the bell rang she just got up and left.
I felt really bad but now but now that I think about it she IS having like 80 other people at her party.
So I decided against it...
I don't like parties that much anyway...
I have that nervous, nauseous, sickish, feeling in my stomach for some reason. And I seem to get it around the same time every... while. It does go away though. And it's not like gas or hunger.. it's like psychological.
Wow I'm bored with my life XD
I need to go on an adventure. Mr. Merkle gave me an entire box of Dots today >_>
I gave them to Rhonny though. I hate Dots.
Wow... Evan still hasn't commented on my blogs..
Well that's ok they're not that interesting anyway.
UGH I AM SO STRESSED OUT.
I'm pretty much failing Algebra 2.. even though I have A's in all my other classes. This girl wants me to go to her party really bad on Saturday but I don't have a dress and I accidentally made other really important plans ;-;
I have to turn in 24 slides to my teacher to send for an AP grade of my art work (12 breadth, and 12 concentration) but I only have like 7 concentration so I have to pull 5 pieces out of my ass in 2 nights because it takes at least 2 days to get slides back from the camera and sometimes even not at all cuz they mess up developing or something. And I don't want to risk them not showing up on the last day. And they're not just pieces where you can just set up a still life and draw from observation. It has to be something connected to your concentration. And mine happens to be distance.
My science teacher has been putting off the presentations in my class for so long now that I'm FINALLY going to present tomorrow. Ugh, It's so nerve-racking though even though I know no one cares at all at this point.
Also, pretty much all Vivian thinks/talks about is sex. Good thing that's HER concentration XD.
But she seriously needs to either get laid or cool down some other way >_>
Also my social/love life is pretty confusing as well. I just try not to think about it. Makes my tummy hurt.. ;-;
Good news though (I guess)... it seems as though I can now type perfectly and don't have to look at the keyboard at all. ^_^ I just noticed a few seconds ago that I wasn't looking XD